(Charles Isherwood, The New York Times) “Goodbye, cruel world!”

It’s succinct and to the point, certainly. But not exactly fresh, and perhaps a little too self-conscious in the humor department? If you’re looking for something more earnest and inspired, the friendly fellows at Suicide, Incorporated can help you out.

Its people are in the business of assisting the despondent, the at-the-end-of-their-rope, leave the world with an eloquence that becomes the occasion. For a fee — act now and get the current special! — they’ll help you write your suicide note. Call them ghostwriters for those eager to become ghosts.