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The Facts Of Life: The Lost Episode

Empire Stage presents the South Florida premiere of the hit parody inspired by the popular 80s sitcom The Facts Of Life: The Lost Episode. From Jamie Morris, the writer who brought you Mommie Queerest, Silence Of The Clams, and Re-Designing Women, comes the raunchiest show in his repertoire.  He’s tackled Joan and Christina Crawford, Hannibal Lechter and Clarice Starling, and the Sugarbaker gals of Atlanta. Now with The Facts of Life: The Lost Episode he has his sights set on the girls at the Eastland School.

The show premiered in 2004 in Provincetown, MA where The Provincetown Banner said: “If the sitcom had been this funny it might still be on the air.” After two successful sold-out runs in New York the critics agreed. HX Magazine called the show a “raunchy, side-splitting musical spoof, so wrong in so many ways”, StageBuzz said : “Be prepared for a wild, raunchy, crazy time. It’s damn funny!”, and Time Out New York: “deliciously nasty!”  The Facts Of Life: The Lost Episode enjoyed a sold-out run in Dallas, where the show was extended three times, and became the most successful show in the history of the Uptown Players. It was also named the #2 Ballsiest Show in Dallas by Pegasus News. The reviewer from the Dallas Observer noted of her experience: “I wheezed so hard laughing that the guys next to me asked if I was having an asthma attack!”

When budget cuts force Mrs. Garrett to leave Eastland, Blair, Tootie, Natalie and Jo will do anything to raise the money so she can stay, ANYTHING! (Ok, they become hookers and they sing and dance about it!) Add an evil Headmaster who has a thing for Mrs. G, lesbian overtones between Jo and Blair, and a guest cameo by cousin Geri, and you have the lost episode that Showtime wished they’d snatched up.  Dildos, prostitution, cerebral palsy, and lesbian sex are just a few of the politically incorrect plotlines that mark this as an adults-only show!

Empire Stage is an artist-driven collective that produces new and existing works for the diverse audiences of Ft Lauderdale, including the LGBT and Senior populations. The collective is committed to presenting dynamic works originating from both the New York City and South Florida theatrical communities and to offer theater artists a supportive environment where they can collaborate, take risks and develop as writers, directors, actors, designers and producers.

The Facts of Life: The Lost Episode will run at Empire Stage from June 27 – August 4, 2013.  Show times are Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays at 8 PM, and Sundays at 5PM (with no performance on July 4). Tickets are $30, and may be purchased at, or by calling Smarttix @ 212-868-4444. For cash reservations and general info, please call 954-678-1496.